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Please Submit Your Feelings, Emotions, Stories, or Questions>
Having hard times...
Begin The Healing Process
Anonymous
Guest
0 post
16-Aug-2008
12:05 AM
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I"m 32 years old and have not been able to conceive natural. On Wed I started bleeding nothing out of the normal for me, but i was having cramps that were pretty bad. I made an appointment after my cramps where so bad that pain pills where not taking the pain away. After checking me out and running some tests they said I was pregnant and that i was either having a tubal or a miscarriage, but would not be able to tell with out running blood work. Two days ago my numbers were at 77 and today they are at 12 so they said it was a miscarriage. It's weird because if i wouldn't have had those cramps so bad, I would have thought it was a normal period with some tissue. The doctor told me to just let it pass natural and unless i have heaving bleeding not to worry. She told me not to wear tampons, and for the last few days I have been because she never told me why. Now i'm worried about infection. The hard part was that I was only 2-3 weeks along and it was the 1st time for me experiencing the the fact that I could get pregnant. I know i'm rambling but I feel like i have no one to talk to. My husband though he tries to be supportive he doesn't to care that we just lost a baby, its like because we didn't know that we were pregnant before we lost it it was real to him.
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GeoffMosher
1 post
17-Aug-2008
12:34 AM
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I am 26, a marriage and family therapist, and the husband of my beautiful wife Jessica of four years. We have tried to conceive for all four years with many health related difficulties, and after we finally found out my honey bunny was pregnant we were granted four weeks of pregnancy joy. About a month and a half ago, she had a miscarriage right there in my arms at four in the morning in the ER of our hospital. I have never cried so hard in my life, and I totally understand your pain. I suppose I am different from a lot of men in the sense that I can express my feelings, but I can tell you that no matter what he shows you on the outside, he is in pain too and is trying to be strong for you. Its like he is telling you, "see, it will be OK, I am your example that life can go on, and I am proving it to you by getting on with life by not letting it affect me." Young men in our society are taught by their elders that they are never to show their emotions, that they have to be "tough". Besides causing things like mid life crises and breakdowns, your husband's behavior is unfortunately another product of the same teachings. I wish I could tell you that the pain will go away, but I have the sad feeling from my experience as well as the experience of many wonderful, strong women here that you will always have a place in your heart that will forever remain broken from your loss. But please understand that your husband loves you very, very much even though he has a hard time expressing his feelings toward your loss and you might be able to find a little comfort in the fact that, from one man's mind to another, he is trying to be your pillar of strength in your time of need regardless of his own secret pain.
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SandDevil6
56 post s
18-Aug-2008
7:04 PM
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I'm sorry to hear what happened but like Goeff said, he's just trying to be strong for you.
My boyfriend acted strong for me, it was just his way to deal with it.Sometimes men and women deal with things differently and sometimes men try to be strong for the woman they love because they think it will help. Just let him know you need him and that you will be there for him if he needs you too.
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