Please read my post Missed miscarriage. I hope it helps a little.
They probably want to make sure you are not holding on to any tissue that is not healthy for you.Hence the reason for the D&C. I have 2 healthy boys and was floored that I too miscarried. I never miscarried on my own, the baby passed at 7 weeks, I walked around for 10 weeks. Friday was the sono and they told me that I had to wait until Weds of the following week to surgically take the baby. My mental state was unbearable. i slept and watched tv as not to think at all. My placenta separated and I was bleeding internally. I couldnt wait to pass this on my own, now it was a matter of infection from the hemorrage in my uterus.
They too treated me like a statistic. They see this every day ,1 in 4 pregnancies end this way. Thats why they act so cold. My neighbor has 4 boys and she too had 3or 4 miscarriages in between. You will heal, and you will have another baby. We are strong and as mothers are made to handle this, as you know, you have to be strong for your beautiful boys and husband. Maybe you should switch drs., if it makes you feel better go to talk to a high risk dr., they are trained to be a little more sensitive. I know you will recover, time heals all wounds, good luck and God Bless you and your family :)

it may not feel like it now, but there is hope. you will feel better, but very gradually and in your own time. like i said before, allow yourself time to grieve and do feel like there is anything wrong with you for needing to do so.
i found that i was gradually noticing that i was feeling slightly better over time but unfortunately its not something that can be rushed. i know its tough but things will feel better one day. you will probably never forget your loss, but you will learn to enjoy life again.
take care. ali.

Ladies, I'm so sorry about your miscarriages. Keep talking, keep taking it day by day, and keep hope alive in the smaller part of your brain as the rest of you grieves. Again, I', so sorry.

i wanted to address the idea that the doctors are very insensitive and cold...and perhaps are this way because they see it all the time? I absolutely abhor this idea! I, luckily, had a better experience (if a silver lining can be found in miscarriage) with my doctor's office. The whole entire office (which is one MD, 2 nurse practitioners, 3 midwives and a sonographer) were very nice to me. They, too, have obviously seen this over and over again, but rather than turn colder about it to their patients, they seem to be more in tune with how awful it is for mothers and fathers to lose their child. At any point in the pregnancy. My sonographer gently told me there was no heartbeat and no movement. I didn't need to be told any more. I was only there because I had started spotting and they wanted to check on the baby, so no appointment with my doc was scheduled, but she immediately informed her, and they found me an exam room to be seen by her. My doctor was very understanding, offering me tissues and a hug. When my crying had subsided a bit, she told me about what options I had for the next few weeks (the D&C, the pills, or waiting for it to happen naturally) and she did not pressure me to make a decision at all. In fact, she said to take a day or so to think about things and call when and if I wanted to get a prescription or schedule a D&C. She gave me a packet of literature that explained the process of miscarriage in detail, what to expect in detail, and also loads of websites and books that have to do with healing after a pregnancy loss. There was also a list of support groups in the area that handle this topic as well. I felt devastated, of course...no amount of sensitivity could have taken away the horrible pain I was in emotionally, nor the physical pain that came so soon after. But the sensitivity helped, and I felt like things were being taken care of the way they should be in that case.

I don't want to make those of you who had the opposite treatment feel badly that your doctors were terrible. But I guess I just want to us all to stand up for ourselves in these situations. Doctors need to be told that they are giving inferior care...and yes, sensitivity should be required...especially in the medical field. MOST especially when there is a loss of a child involved. There are far too many stories like yours, ladies...that our physicians are failing us when we need them most. Miscarriage is a horrible event, in any case...we need our doctors to provide the care that we need -- accurate information, sensitive words and certainly no pressure to rush into a decision when we are hurting beyond belief.

How do we do this? I've often thought about trying to publish my story, or others' stories that want to be shared, to try and get the idea out there to everyone that miscarriage is real, and terrible, but that it shouldn't be ignored or looked at like a simple sickness to be treated and that's the end of it. And beyond the publishing...complain to your doctors. Choose other doctors (if we have the luxury with all the insurance red tape and restrictions!) and be honest about why you are leaving their practice and looking for someone else.

I don't know...I'm ranting. I just get so angry when I think of how we all have suffered through these losses, and yet we have to suffer more because of the terribly lacking care that our physicians (whom we have to trust, because we can't do it by ourselves) deliver to us. Unacceptable.

Sorry for the rant. Still healing, still searching for answers I guess. My prayers are with all of you.

Sometimes when I feel like I'm starting to feel better about things all of a sudden everything comes rushing back. I feel like I have to push my feelings under the rug just so I can function normally. I know I have to be strong in order to be there for my children but at the same time I need someone so I can take a moment just to breathe. I feel like I really haven't had the chance to absorb any of this. There are moments when this doesn't seem real as if it never happened. Still alot of "what if" and still very angry with the doctor including other staff members. I feel like I'm suppose to remain in silence about losing my baby due to the fact that miscarriages are so common. That does not make it any easier for any woman who has experienced a miscarriage. I really miss my baby.

Why do people feel this way? Why should it be any different than losing a family member, a perfectly understandable reason to be grieving? Why does it take another woman who has miscarried to make us feel that we are understood?